Lake many engineers, I tend to get a lot of email from recruiters and head-hunters. Ever since I deleted my linkedin account the situation has gotten much better, yet I still get emails on occasion.

Last week I received the following email from a major technology company. I’ll leave a few details obscured, such as the company name - but I guarantee it’s a company you know if you are reading this. Maybe it’s because of that fact I was so surprised to receive a letter like this. I’ve obscured a couple of other minor details such as people and place names.

As an additional amusement, the subject of the email was “Our call on Friday”, as if we had scheduled something explicitly.

So weird, but read on!

Clearly you have been quite popular with my colleagues here in [company withheld]
over the past few years; I realize that you continue to hear from us asking if you
are interested in chatting about career opportunities at [company withheld] (yes,
I am one of them too). Since many of our outreach notes haven't caught your eye,
I thought I might try to convince you as to why I may be the one worth responding

The address we have on your last resume says you lived in Diamond Mine, Oregon.
I grew up on Black Diamond Mine Road in Oregon Springs, Colorado. Not bad.

You maintain websites in your free time. I have a website I work on in my free
time too. Granted, I've only mildly played in the HTML and it's really a blog,
but I make up in journalism what I lack in coding.

You like gaming. I like gaming. Although I'm sure I wouldn't stand a chance
against you, because my definition of "gaming" is playing this entertaining
app (read: not really gaming).

Does that lightly peak your interest? If I've even remotely caught your attention,
do mind returning my email and setting aside some time to chat with me later this
week about your career activities and goals? I can give you a call at 12PM PST
this Friday if you are available. What would be your preferred number?

Lastly, I'm attaching the most recent version of your resume that we have on file.
If you are so inclined to send an updated version, I'd gladly exchange them in our
system. That way we can stop talking to you about old news and get excited about
what you're up to now. :)

Looking forward to chatting with you this week!

[company withheld]

Grasping at straws like that to find commonality makes this borderline stalking. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done any gaming, and I guess this blog is the website I maintain (not an impressive body of work). As mentioned, I obscured people, street, city, and state names for obvious reasons of privacy.

Another bit of oddness is that the attached resume was 7 years old, yet I know for a fact they had a more recent one since I had talked to them a couple of times since then, and I know the colleagues of which she spoke had access to newer ones. Again, very very odd and not the sign of a top-notch recruiter.

I love the errors too - such as specifying the time as PST (it’s PDT). Even a recruiter should know that bit of technical detail, right? At least she got AM vs PM right! At least, I assume she didn’t want to talk to me at midnight. :-)

Oh, and any recruiters or head-hunters reading this - no we don’t have a call scheduled, and no I don’t want to talk to you, and yes I know I’m not on linkedin anymore.